he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
