JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize