you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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