There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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