You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
