I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
