He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize