The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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