How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
