so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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