I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
