operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
