She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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