he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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