Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
A bitchslap is in order.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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