After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize