hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
