Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize