I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
