His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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