escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
