We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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