He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
