Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
