And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
