i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
