I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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