After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
