I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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