WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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