I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
