Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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