At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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