She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
