Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
