what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
