I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
