You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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