Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When did angry sex become our thing?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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