She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
