I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this will be a night to untag.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
