omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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