WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize