Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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