billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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