Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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