Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
