I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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