She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
