1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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