PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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