chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
