have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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