Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is wine microwaveable?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
