dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im holly from the hills drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
