It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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