It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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