I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I have vodka in my lungs
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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