She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
