I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
