I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
