He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
