don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
