his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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