Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
