I have demons in me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
