Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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